Thank you to our wonderful guest, Jennifer M. for sharing this part of her story with us.
Once we hear the words that causes our lives to change forever, we can call on all the strength within us but the support of those around us can have a profound affect on our healing.
I knew that friends and family were going to have many different reactions to the news. And in the beginning when you are trying your best to stay positive and fight your best fight, what people say affects us deeply. Some people decided it was perfectly all right to tell you stories about their friends or loved ones who had died from your particular cancer. And that insensitivity leaves you breathless. And then there are the people who are, understandably, afraid of cancer and don’t know what to say.
So they say nothing. And they pull away. And that hurts to the core.
I had only shared my story with a few of my closest friends and family. But after people pulled away from me, I just stopped telling people because in the midst of everything, the pain of that was too much to bear. I didn’t want to take the chance of it happening again.
But then there are those angel friends who reach out with kindness and compassion. And that really softens the edges of this painful time. I think the best thing anyone ever said to me came from my beloved friend Murphy. I was fighting my best fight, visualizing positive things and calling on my beautiful faith and optimistic nature. But of course, there was this undercurrent of fear and sometimes, especially in the solitude of sleepless nights, there was terror.
And one day, Murphy said to me, “I already see you healed.”
Five short words that became my mantra.
Five short words that helped me choose to focus on the healing power of the universe.
Five short words that helped save me.
So to those of you out there struggling to find the perfect things to say, please know that the words don’t have to be perfect. You just need to reach out. There are a thousand tiny ways to be kind. Pick any one of them. They will make a difference, I promise you. We need your love more than ever while we’re busy kicking cancer’s butt. The miracles of modern medicine are profound.
But it is love that helps heal you.
This article is part of our ‘Talking About Cancer’ series that runs from June 11th – June 16th. Follow us on social media as we talk about cancer….specifically the good, the bad and the ugly around advice, love and support. weSPARK Cancer Support Center is located in Los Angeles and offers completely FREE programs, workshops, classes and individual therapies to cancer patients, survivors and their loved ones. Remember to take a look at our monthly program schedule for more information about the services we offer.
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